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Solo Serenity: Discovering Resilience in Solitude Through a Plastic Brain

February 26th, 2024

Embracing the Quiet


During life's chaos, embracing moments of quiet may initially feel like confronting loneliness, especially when wrestling with depression and anxiety. However, beneath the surface of this stillness, a profound transformation awaits. I personally experienced this revelation during my journey of working through complex PTSD, navigating autoimmune challenges, and keeping up with a demanding caseload of teens, let alone opening Through the Valley Therapy amidst the tumultuous COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. During those trying times, solitude ceased to be a mere escape; it became a powerful catalyst for personal epiphanies. In moments of despair and deep introspection, I unearthed a wellspring of healing and creativity that transcended the noise of the external world and the inner turmoil. Solitude evolved into my sanctuary, a sacred space where the external clamor and internal chaos gradually faded away, granting me access to restorative tranquility that serves as the cornerstone for genuine well-being and profound self-discovery.


The Biblical Perspective: Finding Solace in Scripture


The often-overlooked stillness holds a profound biblical truth: solitude is a sacred space for communion with God. This truth shines in Matthew 14:23, where we read, "After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray." Here, Jesus models the spiritual discipline of withdrawing into the quiet to engage deeply with the Father. These moments of solitude are far from empty; they teem with the potential for spiritual renewal and a deeper connection with the Divine. In these quiet times, we can find solace in Scripture, allowing the word of God to replenish our spirits and reorient our hearts. As we follow Christ's example and withdraw from the world's clamor, we invite the gentle whispers of God's voice to breathe life into our innermost being, reminding us that in the embrace of sacred solitude, we are never truly alone, even in our loneliest moments.


The Science of Solitude: Enhancing Mental Well-being

Extensive scientific research has unveiled the remarkable mental advantages hidden within solitude—a state often sought for tranquility and personal reflection. Among these benefits, one of the most captivating is the surge in creativity. During moments of solitude, the mind is free to wander, explore, and engage in what experts call the "default mode network" activity, an essential component of creative thinking and problem-solving.

Solitude done mindfully for mental health purposes can have various positive impacts:

  • Self-reflection: Solitude allows individuals to introspect and better understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It can be a valuable tool for self-discovery and personal growth.

  • Stress reduction: Spending time alone can reduce stress levels by allowing individuals to disconnect from external pressures and distractions, promoting relaxation and mental clarity.

  • Increased creativity: Solitude can foster creativity as it encourages deep thinking and free-flowing ideas without external influences. This can benefit creative productions, like your podcast and poetry book.

  • Enhanced problem-solving: Solitude provides a quiet environment for focused problem-solving and decision-making. It can help in finding innovative solutions to various challenges.

  • Emotional regulation: Being alone allows individuals to process their emotions without external judgment or interference, improving emotional regulation and resilience.

  • Improved relationships: Ironically, spending quality time in solitude can also enhance social relationships. It helps individuals develop a stronger sense of self and self-confidence, contributing to healthier interactions with others.

However, solitude can also become the arena where past traumas resurface, triggering discomfort. These moments can sometimes lead to the development of coping mechanisms or addictions as we attempt to avoid confronting our inner demons. But it's precisely in these confrontations that genuine healing begins. We have a choice: to merely manage symptoms or to embark on the challenging journey of addressing the root causes behind those symptoms. This path may feel overwhelming, which is why seeking the guidance of a skilled therapist like me, who comprehends trauma and complex PTSD and embraces a holistic approach, can be immensely valuable. Such a therapist is trained to transcend the limiting labels and rigid frameworks often dictated by insurance companies, enabling a more profound and tailored healing process.

Reflecting on my own journey, I vividly remember the days in New York when I grappled with profound loneliness. Growing up as an only child raised by a single immigrant mother in the bustling streets of Queens, I often found myself alone, longing for a sense of family and community, which I discovered at school. The school became my refuge—a place where I forged connections. At home, loneliness and judgment prevailed, fostering my anxiety and depression. By the time I was 12 years old I was forced to live with my father's side of the family, I was already deeply anxious, striving to please everyone around me looking for love and acceptance. Then high school came, and many may not have enjoyed high school, I treasured it. It was where loneliness didn't engulf me like it did as a child. I had teachers who believed in me, friends who shared laughter, and a genuine sense of belonging. Nonetheless, there were still moments when I felt the sting of loneliness, even among the hustle and bustle of hundreds around me.

It wasn't until the pandemic that I reframed my perception of loneliness, embracing what I now call "solo serenity." In solo serenity, I learned to appreciate dining alone, shopping alone, and facing my own sadness or anxiety without judgment. I discovered the power of taking every thought captive to Christ—a form of mind training that I now impart to my clients through various therapeutic tools, empowering them on their own journey toward healing and self-discovery.


Building Mental Strength


The most significant benefit of solitude I found is the development of mental strength. When we are alone, we can engage in self-reflection, fostering resilience and self-reliance. Confronting challenges in mindful solitude can bolster our mental fortitude as we learn to rely on our inner resources. Mindful solitude also provides an opportunity for emotional regulation. Without external influences and distractions, we can process our emotions at our own pace, leading to greater emotional insight and stability as we master our emotional responses.


A Plastic Brain: The Science of Neuroplasticity


Neuroplasticity, a fundamental concept in neuroscience, reveals the brain's remarkable ability to adapt and change through experience. It suggests that the brain is dynamic and malleable, capable of rewiring itself by forming new neural connections and pathways throughout life. This adaptability is crucial for learning new skills, recovering from brain injuries, and adapting to new situations. Neuroplasticity operates on the principle of "use it or lose it." When we engage in repetitive thoughts or behaviors, we strengthen the neural pathways that support these activities. Conversely, when we cease a practice or thought, those pathways weaken. Activities that promote neuroplasticity include learning a new language, playing a musical instrument, and engaging in mindfulness or meditation.

In this fascinating world of neuroscience,

neuroplasticity reveals the remarkable capacity of the brain. Through constant learning and practice, our brain undergoes 'reorganization' and 'rewiring,' adapting to new challenges and experiences. This innate 'resilience' allows us to bounce back from setbacks while fostering 'renewal' of our cognitive abilities. Embracing neuroplasticity means tapping into our brain's 'resourceful' nature, unlocking its potential to adapt, learn, and thrive, even in the face of life's ever-changing demands. This means we are not stuck even though we may feel like we are! Praise God!


My journey into understanding neuroplasticity began in 2012, driven by personal motivation: researching brain health following my son's traumatic brain injury (TBI). One invaluable resource I encountered was "Nourish Your Noggin," which underscores the significance of nutrition and lifestyle in supporting brain health and its natural regenerative processes. The book provides insights into how the right nutrients and foods can enhance cognitive function and contribute to the brain's healing and rewiring post-injury. This book was an anchor through this traumatic experience and the beginning of a deep dive into neurobiology.


The Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) is a program that leverages neuroplasticity principles to aid individuals in recovering from various chronic conditions, including those caused by environmental factors such as mold and mercury poisoning. Annie Hopper's book, "Wired for Healing," delves into the DNRS program, explaining how brain retraining can improve health. Both the book and the program played a pivotal role in my life during a challenging time with Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) in 2020. The approach taught in DNRS enabled me to harness the power of neuroplasticity to navigate through physical and mental crises that were affecting my well-being, marriage, and overall life.


Both "Wired for Healing" and "Nourish Your Noggin" underscore the brain's remarkable capacity to recover and adapt. They highlight the active role we can take in our neurological health through understanding and applying the principles of neuroplasticity, whether through mental exercises, lifestyle changes, or nutrition. These resources offer hope and practical strategies to those facing neurological challenges, demonstrating that dedication and the right approach can positively influence the brain's structure and function. I know how much this new found knowledge led me to become the holistic integrative therapist I am today. Click on the picture or here, and it will take you to my library of books that have helped me throughout my healing journey.


Navigating the Challenge of Solitude


Addressing the Initial Discomfort


Addressing the initial discomfort that some individuals may encounter in solitude is a pivotal step toward personal growth. Solitude, though a potential wellspring of strength and healing, can be daunting, particularly for those unaccustomed to its embrace. It's a common misconception to associate solitude with loneliness or isolation, a misperception that often sparks anxiety and depression. To embark on a journey of self-discovery and bolster one's mental well-being, it becomes imperative to acknowledge and navigate these initial feelings of unease and discomfort. I tell my clients, “My job is not to give you advice; it is to help you become comfortable in the uncomfortable. To empower you to trust your gut, your sixth sense, the Holy Spirit that resides in you."


Embracing the Learning Curve


Understanding that the initial discomfort in solitude is a natural response to a shift in our usual social landscape is the first step towards mastery. Human beings are inherently social creatures, wired to seek connection and interaction. Thus, it's entirely natural to experience a sense of unease when thrust into an unfamiliar terrain of solitude. Acknowledging this discomfort as a part of the learning curve is crucial. Like any new skill we acquire, becoming proficient in the art of solitude requires practice and patience.

Psalm 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"


Reframing Loneliness


Reframing our perception of solitude as something beyond mere loneliness or isolation is important. Rather than seeing it as a void to be filled, we can choose to view solitude as a space for self-discovery, personal growth, and inner reflection. By shifting our perspective, we can begin to appreciate solitude as an opportunity rather than an obstacle.


The Power of Self-Companionship: An Invitation to Inner Connection


Embracing solitude entails learning to become your own best companion. It's an invitation to explore the richness of your inner world, engage in self-reflection, and nurture a deeper connection with yourself. Just as you would support and comfort a friend in times of need, you can extend the same kindness and compassion to yourself during moments of solitude. This practice not only mitigates discomfort but also strengthens your resilience and self-reliance.


In this journey of self-companionship, it's comforting to remember the words of Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." These words remind us that, even in solitude, we are not truly alone. The Creator of the universe is with us wherever we go, offering His presence and guidance as we navigate the path of self-discovery and inner connection. With this assurance, we can confidently approach solitude, knowing that a loving and ever-present companion supports us.


Cultivating Mindfulness in Solitude


Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present in the moment, can be an invaluable tool in navigating the challenges of solitude. By cultivating mindfulness, you can learn to appreciate the beauty of silence, the richness of your thoughts, and the serenity that solitude can offer. Mindfulness allows you to ground yourself in the present, reducing anxiety and helping you make the most of your solitary moments.


Exploring Creative Outlets


Solitude can be an ideal space for creativity to flourish. Many artists, writers, and thinkers throughout history have found inspiration and innovation in moments of solitude. Embracing your creative side during solitary moments can not only alleviate discomfort but also lead to the discovery of hidden talents and passions. Click here to see where this plastic brain went during times of my Solo Serenity 

Seeking Support and Connection When Needed


While solitude has its merits, it's equally important to recognize when seeking support or connection is essential for your well-being. Solitude should never become a trap or a source of prolonged distress. Sometimes, reaching out to friends, family, or a mental health professional can provide the necessary support and companionship to navigate challenging moments in life.


Balancing Solitude: A Note for Introverts


For introverts like my husband, solitude often comes more naturally, as it is a source of energy and reflection. However, it's important to remember that even as introverts, you are not meant to be hermits or on your own island. Solitude is a powerful tool for self-discovery and renewal, but it should complement our need for connection with others. Striking a balance between alone time and social interaction is key to maintaining mental well-being.


Remember, You Are Not Alone!


Embracing solitude is a journey that holds the promise of personal growth, self-discovery, and resilience. By addressing initial discomfort with understanding and self-compassion, reframing loneliness as an opportunity, and nurturing mindfulness and creativity, you can transform solitude from a challenge into a source of strength and renewal. Remember that you are never truly alone; you have God, you have yourself, the thoughts you get to choose, and the vast possibilities that solitude offers.


A Simple Prayer


Dear Heavenly Father,


As we embrace moments of solitude, we come before you with open hearts, seeking the wisdom and strength to turn loneliness into solo serenity. Grant us the courage to explore our inner world, self-reflect, and nurture a deeper connection with ourselves. Help us extend the same kindness and compassion to ourselves that we offer to others in times of need.


Lord, in our solitude, remind us of your presence, just as you promised in Joshua 1:9. May we find comfort in knowing that we are never truly alone, for you are with us wherever we go. Guide us on this journey of self-discovery, resilience, and inner renewal.


We pray for the strength to embrace solitude as a source of healing and growth, and may we share the lessons we learn with those around us.


In your name, Jesus, we pray. Amen.


If you are interested in learning more about transforming loneliness into Solo Serenity, I invite you to contact me. Together, we can explore the power of solitude and self-companionship, unlocking the potential for personal growth and inner peace. Feel free to contact me to start your journey towards a deeper connection with yourself and a more fulfilling life.

In Service, Faith, Hope and Love,


PS I just launched a new podcast called The Holistic Counselor Podcast . You can find it wherever you like to listen to podcasts.

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Disclaimer: The content provided on "Liberation Lunes" is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read on this blog. The views expressed on this blog are my personal opinions and do not represent the views of any professional organizations I am affiliated with. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, 911, or 988 immediately. "Liberation Lunes" does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the blog. Reliance on any information provided by "Liberation Lunes," others appearing on the blog at the invitation of "Liberation Lunes," or other visitors to the blog is solely at your own risk.


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1 Comment

Jen T
Jen T
Feb 28

I am an introverted recluse who is terrified of community yet long for it. Thanks to God's strength and the courage His presence gives me, I am starting to take small steps in finding that balance you speak of.

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