Healing in the Valley: How Faith, Therapy, and Internal Family Systems Are Transforming Grief
- Diana S Rice
- May 5
- 7 min read
Liberation Lunes
Monday, May 5th, 2025
It’s been just over two months since I first opened up about the heartbreaking loss of my mother — and nearly three months to the day since she passed. Since then, life has been a mix of slow healing, small victories, and unexpected waves of emotion. And if I’m being honest? The journey has been anything but linear.
As a Christian therapist, I teach my clients that healing takes time. Living it, though, is another story — a daily lesson in humility, grace, and fierce perseverance.
Today, I want to share a glimpse of what the past few months have looked like. My prayer is that it encourages you, especially if you're walking through grief, big life transitions, or rediscovering who you are after a season of loss.
Staying Grounded in the Valley
One of the biggest challenges after deep loss is staying anchored in healthy rhythms — even when your heart feels heavy.
Over the past three months, I’ve leaned into the practices that keep me steady:
Walking three miles a day (even when every step feels like a prayer)
Eating nutritious, mindful meals (even when I binge on junk — it happens 🙃)
Breathwork and nervous system regulation (hello acupressure mat & infrared heating pad)
Meditating on Scripture and truth (shoutout to Christ Center Tribe & Grace Oasis)
Daily Bible reading and prayer
Saying “yes” to connection, even when isolation feels easier
And yes — crying. A lot. But this time, with control, intention, and compassion for myself.
Some days these rhythms feel like lifelines. Other days, like dragging a weighted blanket uphill. But either way, I keep showing up — because healing doesn’t happen by accident.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned to trust: Healing doesn’t happen in one big dramatic moment. It unfolds in small, stubborn acts of faith — day by day, second by second.
Facing Old Patterns with Compassion and Responsibility
One of the most surprising parts of this season has been the return of old, familiar coping patterns — the ones I thought I had left behind.
My body and mind started craving comfort in ways I hadn’t leaned into in years. I found myself reaching for Tate’s gluten-free cookies, Pipcorn cheese balls, and anything crunchy or sweet enough to numb the ache. There were moments I felt the pull to drink, to light up a joint — not for fun, but like I used to growing up… to escape. At one point, I even had the urge to shave my head again — an old symbolic attempt to shed everything I was carrying.
(And yes… ThredUp may still be part of my emotional processing toolkit. SMH.)
But instead of spiraling into guilt or shame, I practiced what I so often offer my clients: I paused. I breathed. I asked:
“What part of me is reaching for this?”
That one question shifted everything. It helped me respond not with avoidance, but with compassion and accountability. It reminded me that I’m not just a therapist — I’m a woman walking out her own sanctification story, one surrendered step at a time.
That’s when I recognized her — an exiled part of me. The younger me who coped with food, fantasy, and survival mode while waiting for her mother to come home, never knowing which version would walk through the door.
This compassionate self-inquiry is the heart of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. And as a Christian therapist, the more I study it, the more I see God’s fingerprint all over it:
Father, Son, Holy Spirit — One Being, three expressions. We, too, are one person with many parts — some hurting, some hiding, some holy — all worthy of healing.
That’s why IFS and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) have become core to my work.
This integrative approach blends trauma-informed care, biblical truth, and personal responsibility.
Because healing isn’t just about naming what hurt us. It’s about asking what we’ll do with that pain now.
Will I numb or renew? Escape or engage? Blame or build?
Healing is not a performance. It’s a posture of surrender. And it’s in that surrender that we remember who we’ve always been in Christ:
Fearfully and wonderfully made.
When Grief Sneaks Up (Like It Did at the Nail Salon)
Grief doesn’t pencil itself into your calendar. It ambushes you in the middle of ordinary moments.
A few days before my husband and I left for our 30th wedding anniversary adventure, I booked a pedicure — a little act of self-care after months of emotional heaviness.
When I arrived, every single employee and guest was speaking Spanish.
The rhythm of the language, the warmth in the room — it felt like home.“I found my people,” I thought, almost tearfully.
That night, as I recounted the experience to my husband, a massive wave of grief crashed over me.
It was as if the little girl inside me — the one who longed for nurturing from the unhealed women who helped raise me — came pouring out. I sobbed into my husband’s arms, overwhelmed by the sorrow of what I never received and the weight of what I’ve carried all these years.
I realized:
My paternal grandmother — gone.
My paternal aunt — gone.
My half-sister — gone.
My mother — gone.
The women who gave me the stories of who I am are no longer here.
And what legacy did they leave behind in me?
I’ve spent years — and lots of therapy — unlearning the parts of those stories that were never mine to carry:
Untangling trauma from truth
Sifting cultural beauty from generational pain
Keeping what gives life
Releasing what crushes the soul
And honestly? That’s why I started my podcast. Because I needed — and still need — reminders of what is eternally true. Reminders that in the middle of life’s chaos, I have tools, I have breath, I have Jesus. I have purpose in all of this. And so do you.
The Birth of The Holistic Counselor Podcast
My very first episode of The Holistic Counselor is all about embracing your story and healing through the lens of faith, lived experience, and integrative mental health.
In every episode, I begin by saying:
“Hello, fearfully and wonderfully made human…”
And close with:
“Trust in the Lord. Guard your heart. Renew your mind.”
Because ultimately, no matter how messy it gets, I hold to this truth:
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Without that anchor, I would have drowned long ago.
Biology, Psychology, and Theology: Healing All Parts of Me
Grief has a way of showing you that healing is not just spiritual or emotional — it’s biological too.
Your nervous system holds onto trauma. Your brain wires itself around pain. Your body craves safety when your heart feels shattered.
That’s why my own healing journey — and the work I do with clients — involves all three:
Biology: Movement, nourishment, breathwork
Psychology: Parts work, CBT, compassionate inner dialogue
Theology: Scripture, prayer, worship, spiritual grounding
We are not just minds or bodies or souls. We are integrated beings, created with intention — and worth healing, wholly.
Grief has humbled me. I am dust and vapor. But by grace, I am beloved dust.
Helpful Resources for Your Healing Journey
Here are some tools, Scriptures, and practices that have helped me — and may help you too:
📚 Internal Family Systems Institute — Learn about parts work and the IFS model.
🎙️ Listen to Episode 1 of The Holistic Counselor — Start your journey of soul-level healing.
📖 Romans 12:2 - Renewing the Mind (ESV) — Let God transform your thoughts.
📔 No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz — A compassionate look at the IFS framework.
🧠 Polyvagal Theory Simplified — Understand your nervous system and how trauma affects it.
🙏🏽 Breath Prayer Practice: Inhale: “Jesus, I trust You.”Exhale: “You are my strength.”
Scripture for Your Journey
I want to leave you with a verse that’s held me steady:
"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."— Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)
Even when everything looks dry and barren, God is always working beneath the surface.
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
If you’re navigating grief, life transitions, or soul-deep transformation, you don’t have to walk alone.
I offer faith-based therapy rooted in compassion, evidence-based tools, and Biblical truth — to help you heal from the inside out.
Healing is possible. Hope is real. You are deeply, deeply loved — even in the valley.
Heavenly Father, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I lift up every person reading these words right now. Remind them of who they are and how they are fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter what they’ve been through.
Give them the courage to face their pain, the insight to see what needs healing, and the strength to do the work that leads to restoration and deeper connection with You.
May their healing bring You glory. May their story become a testimony of Your grace.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
In Service, Faith, Hope and Love,
Diana
And now for the disclaimer to make sure you understand that YOU are responsible for YOU:
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