Liberation Lunes
January 20th, 2024

Are you feeling overwhelmed, overcommitted, or emotionally drained? As Christian women striving to honor God in all we do, it’s easy to fall into the trap of giving too much and losing sight of what we need to thrive. Life can feel like a constant balancing act between work, relationships, and personal goals—leaving little time for rest, reflection, or spiritual growth.
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to “do it all” and “be everything for everyone,” you’re not alone. For years, I thought I had mastered boundaries—after all, as a therapist, I teach them daily. But knowing about boundaries and living them are two very different things.
What My Journey Taught Me About Boundaries
Growing up, I was surrounded by strong yet unhealed women who wore their sacrifices like badges of honor. I learned early on to accommodate others, suppress my needs, and carry emotional burdens that weren’t mine to bear. This pattern followed me into adulthood, where I overcommitted in an endless pursuit of worthiness, striving to prove my value by being indispensable.
Reflecting on the last four years of running my private counseling practice—and especially the lessons I learned in 2024—I’ve realized how much I still had to grow in setting healthy boundaries. Reading The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner helped me face a pivotal question:
“Am I living authentically, or am I driven by external expectations and pride?”
This question was a turning point for me. It revealed that boundaries aren’t selfish barriers; they’re life-giving tools that allow us to live authentically, honor God’s purpose for our lives, and thrive in alignment with our values and faith.
What Are Boundaries, and Why Are They Essential for Christian Women?
Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our time, energy, and emotional well-being. They’re not about shutting people out but about creating space for love, respect, and connection to flourish.
When we establish healthy boundaries, we:
Protect our mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Prioritize what truly aligns with our God-given purpose.
Model self-respect, teaching others how to treat us.
Even Jesus demonstrated the importance of boundaries. Throughout His ministry, He withdrew to pray and rest (Luke 5:16), set limits with His disciples, and rebuked others when necessary. His example reminds us that love doesn’t mean saying yes to everything—it means discerning what aligns with God’s will.
Recognizing Boundary Struggles
Do you struggle with porous or rigid boundaries? Understanding where you stand is the first step toward creating balance:
Porous Boundaries: Saying yes when you want to say no, taking on others’ emotions as your own, or oversharing personal details.
Rigid Boundaries: Avoiding vulnerability, keeping people at arm’s length, or refusing to ask for help.
Healthy Boundaries: Balancing protection and connection, clearly communicating your needs, and respecting both your limits and others’.
For me, porous boundaries stemmed from a deep need for approval—rooted in what I learned from my upbringing, societal expectations, and the church. My fear of disappointing others led me to overextend myself until I was emotionally exhausted and spiritually disconnected from who God created me to be.
I had to learn, through therapy, reading the Bible in context and prayer, to untangle what was truly me: my beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and values. The key to breaking free came from surrendering, being still, and sitting at Jesus’ feet—just like Mary in the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38–42). While Martha was distracted by tasks and worried about others’ expectations, Mary prioritized connection with Jesus. Her choice taught me that peace comes from presence, not perfection.
The Hidden Costs of Weak Boundaries
If your boundaries are too porous or rigid, you might notice these struggles creeping into your life:
Burnout: Overcommitting leaves you physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.
Resentment: Constantly saying yes when you mean no leads to frustration and bitterness.
Disconnection: Rigid boundaries can isolate you, keeping you from meaningful relationships.
The good news? Boundaries aren’t fixed—they’re a skill you can learn and strengthen over time.
Practical Tips to Help You Set Boundaries
If you’re ready to step into a life that reflects your values and faith, here’s how to start setting healthy boundaries:
Pause and Reflect-Take time to evaluate what matters most to you. Ask yourself:
What aligns with my faith and values?
Where am I overcommitting or feeling drained?
What do I need to release to create space for what’s important?
Action Step: Create a list of non-negotiables for your well-being, such as “I will honor my Sabbath” or “I need 30 minutes of quiet time daily for prayer.”
Communicate Clearly and Kindly-You can set boundaries without being harsh. Practice rephrasing how you say no:
Instead of: “I can’t believe you’re asking me to do that!”
Try: “I’d love to help, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
Action Step: Write down three situations where you struggle with boundaries and rehearse kinder, clearer responses.
Practice Saying No-Saying no takes practice, but it’s essential for protecting your peace.
“No, I can’t take that on right now.”
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I need to focus on other responsibilities.”
Action Step: Start small. Say no to one minor request this week and build from there.
Schedule Rest Intentionally-Boundaries aren’t just about saying no to others—they’re about saying yes to yourself.
Morning quiet time for prayer.
Journaling to process emotions.
A weekly “Sabbath” to reset and recharge.
Action Step: Block out one hour this week for yourself and honor that commitment.
Set Boundaries in Relationships-Healthy relationships require honest communication about your needs and limits.
“I need time to process before we discuss this.”
“I can’t give advice right now, but I’m here to listen.”
Action Step: Identify one relationship where you need to set a boundary and plan how to address it.
Faith and Boundaries: Living Authentically in Christ
As Christian women, we often confuse love with sacrifice. But Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re acts of stewardship that allow us to live authentically, aligned with God’s purpose, and give from a place of abundance.

Let’s Keep Growing Together!
If this blog resonated with you, I invite you to dive deeper:
Listen to The Holistic Counselor Podcast for more faith-based insights and tools for emotional wellness.
Explore more posts in the Liberation Lunes series at Through the Valley Therapy.
If you're ready to take action in your life, counseling services are available through Through the Valley Therapy for Florida residents. For those seeking coaching services, no matter where you live, visit Transformed Mind Consulting and Coaching. Coaching is designed to equip you with strategies, tools, and accountability to help you thrive in your personal and professional life. Working with me requires a commitment to growth, self-reflection, and taking action. If you’re ready to invest in yourself and do the work, I’d be honored to walk alongside you on this transformative journey.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father, Thank You for the wisdom to set boundaries and the courage to honor them. Help us to steward our time and energy well, guided by Your will. Teach us to love others without losing ourselves, and fill us with peace as we trust You to lead us in every step. Thank you for the lessons that You turn to blessings. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
In Service, Faith, and Love,
Diana
And now for the disclaimer to make sure you understand that YOU are responsible for YOU:
Disclaimer:
The content provided on Liberation Lunes is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read on this blog. The views expressed on this blog are my personal opinions and do not represent the views of any professional organizations with which I am affiliated. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, 911, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) immediately. Liberation Lunes does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the blog. Reliance on any information provided by Liberation Lunes, others appearing on the blog at the invitation of Liberation Lunes, or other visitors to the blog is solely at your own risk.
Confidentiality Notice:
If you choose to engage with Liberation Lunes by commenting or posting and you are a client, please be aware that you may be revealing information that could compromise your confidentiality. Remember that disclosing your identity or personal details can be linked to your clinical material. As a therapist, I am bound by confidentiality and will not respond to any disclosures of this nature on this blog. I am committed to upholding the ethics and confidentiality of the therapeutic relationship, which extends to all forms of communication, following the laws and professional guidelines that govern mental health professionals. Your privacy is of utmost importance, and you are responsible for protecting it when interacting on this platform or any other public forum.
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